About “The Miscommunication Zone”
Therapy is about your specific needs.
You had yet to learn when that conversation began in the kitchen that the conversation was about to head right back into the same space again. Ending up in another argument or with another night of tears was not in your plans.
I have met clients with various stories, and like you, many ended up hurting, frustrated, and ashamed. Each client’s story is unique, but many similarities exist across situations. Others have been where you are and have gotten through to their other side. You are not alone!
I must also remind you that it has taken some time to arrive at this space where you are finally saying, “Enough!” It will not be repaired overnight. Rest assured though that 1) others have taken this journey and 2) by asking for help you have done the hardest part!
Your specific therapy journey and needs are unique to your story, and I consider that when we collaborate on the plan to help you move into a place of healing and hope.
Our work is a collaboration.
Over time, several clients have shared that collaborative therapy is a novel concept. Before meeting with me, they shared that their experiences have often included feeling like they were being asked to fit into a neat little box, do things the same as everyone else, or be talked down to rather than as equals.
I may have tools and techniques you have yet to be aware of; however, you are, and will always be, the expert on what it is to be you and live in your world.
Brené Brown says we are not “Thinking bodies who feel, but rather feeling bodies who think.” That means whatever feelings you, your spouse, or anyone else have can create accurate, valid, and reasonable misunderstandings.
We have all been there. While we do not all have the same challenges, we all feel the same emotions. At some point in our lives, we all experience hurt, sadness, anger, frustration, happiness, joy, and excitement. The stories that bring us to those emotions will not look the same, but those feelings do. And those feelings are ALWAYS valid.
Each story is unique.
So, your story does not match up with the couple on the home page. That does not matter because you still have valid feelings, and your body knows how those feelings physically manifest for you.
Whether you fit with parts of our couples’ story or whether your story is entirely different, you deserve to live the life you dream of. Communication is messy, and every day is full of the possibility of miscommunication and misunderstanding.
I can help you feel your feelings while learning to communicate them more straightforwardly. Regardless of the story you are living in, the number 3 option exists for you.
Let’s work together to rip up the script of the life you have been stuck in and find a way to live your perfect life – whatever perfect means for you.
About Florence Cripe, LPC
I am, and have always been, a helper.
As a middle schooler in the mid-1980s, this looked like working with younger ESL students to help them develop English skills. As a high schooler, I pursued pre-med classes, thinking I was headed for med school. Instead, I chose to get married and begin to raise a family.
During my young adult years, I raised my three children, who are close in age. I volunteered at church and in their classrooms. In my work, I was always involved in something that would help others: daycare, after-school classes, and as a salesclerk in a fabric store.
These experiences helped me develop the skills of active listening, thinking outside the box, and persistence that are advantageous today.
As a single mom, I changed course.
Only after the unfortunate break-up of my marriage did I begin to pursue a college degree and raise my children as a single mom. This led to an undergrad degree in Social Work, which made me aware of how our interpersonal connections affect us.
It is not enough to lift a person out of their world, teach them new skills, and then put them back into the old system, expecting different actions. We all need support, so showing the entire system how to behave differently together is more effective.
I then pursued my marriage and family counseling degree in grad school because we are all members of at least one family unit. Everyone is a mother, father, sister, brother, son, or daughter. I care about helping the family unit have the best life they can.
In situations with divided families, all suffer. Divorce sucks because we all get hurt. And yet, our pasts do not have to define who we are in our future.
What about my life outside of therapy?
My kids and I learned that together. We figured out who we were during their teenage years, which were my college years. They are now young adults pursuing their life dreams, and I am satisfied with where we each are individually.
Today, I spend as much time as possible outdoors: hiking, paddleboarding, camping, or simply enjoying the nature around me. During bad weather, I curl up with a good book and my cats and enjoy a good fire.
It is a good life that was possible because I had a therapist who helped me define who I was rather than accepting what others said I should be. Let me be that helper for you.